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Your Darkshines....
....bringing me down
Hello and welcome to the side of me that mopes about and doesn't do anything productive in public.
The thoughts and worries of my mind spilled out across the pages in careless and pretentious detail. Here's an honest 21 year old human - tinged with pessimism, paranoia, lack of confidence, and occasional outbursts of obsessionism.
31st-Dec-2010 08:46 am - .
Purple Space

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22nd-Sep-2008 04:40 pm(no subject)
Cedric Omar wall

So yesterday didn't go to well...my 'friend' didn't bother being organised enough to catch the train with me to the city for Badlands, so she missed it and bailed out. So I was on my own the whiole day, which sucked, especially since practically everyone there was with a mate. It was so awkward because there were 20 minute breaks between bands while they set up their equipment, and I didn't have any one to chat to or get a beer with. Mostly just hung on the barrier watching things get set up, checking out the guitars and pedalboards...and checking out a certain stagehand/roadie who looked like he really should have been in The Mars Volta ;) Spitting image of Cedric, couldn't stop doing the once-over, multiple times haha. Really had that stern Mexican brooding look, mmm ;)

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20th-Sep-2008 10:21 pm(no subject)

OMFG my tattoo is so goddamn itchy. Equivalent to the worst mosquito bite I've ever had. ARGH. And it's been like this for about 2 or 3 days now, even though I keep applying Savlon like I was told to (and it's also used for itchy insect bites, but it's not helping much there).

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11th-Sep-2008 05:26 pm - The Time Has Come...
I'm getting my tattoo done in an hour and a half's time. AHHH. I'm really nervous, but really excited too. It'll be this, on my right wrist:

It's slightly more freehand than the other variations I posted. I didn't want it to look too computer-generated and 'obviously-from-wikimedia'...

Gah, I just want it over with. And I hope I won't regret it. I don't think I will. I've been going over it for three months. It's like whenever I get my hair done, I worry about it far too much beforehand, but once I've got it done, I feel awesome. And this defines me so well, as I've explained in my other entries.

Gonna have a shower now, grab a bite to eat and then leave.

Ugh, my stomach!
5th-Sep-2008 04:30 pm - General updates
Things have been a bit up and down lately. So what does that mean? Another LJ post, of course!

I don't think I've mentioned it in my LJ yet, but for the past month or so I've been kind of hanging around with  a girl, M, at uni, coz we do the same subjects and also have a tutorial together. I tried not to do the whole worrying thing this time around, and just took things as time went on, not ruminating about anything that happened. I only ever thought about her at uni, not about whether she wanted to be friends with me or not etc etc when I was sitting around at home pulling myself to pieces like I've done with every other person I've briefly 'befriended' this year. So things were easy, light. We swapped mix cds because she was saying how she wanted to get into some new music, and so was I, so hey let's introduce each other to bands we like etc. So that was nice. We sat together in most lectures, and conversation was actually pretty easy. I didn't put as much pressure on myself to sound interesting or anything like that, which was good.

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29th-Aug-2008 03:44 pm - Vegan?

I'm kind of entertaining the idea of going vegan. Well, maybe vegetarian to start with.

I'm practically vegetarian most of the week anyway. I only have chicken probably about once or twice a week. Roast chicken on Sundays, and maybe spaghetti bolognaise with mince meat, or chicken schnitzel some other day during the week. The rest of the week my mum cooks pasta with various tomato sauces; potatoes; tomato soup, veggie soups; rice and chilli sauces; quite a bit of tofu; veggie burgers. I think I could pretty easily go totally vegetarian. Plus, I don't crave meat at all. You hear people saying they crave a big juicy steak, but I'm not like that at all. I crave pasta and carbs, haha.

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15th-Aug-2008 03:35 pm - Itch
Cedric Omar wall

I'm really feeling an itch to GET OUT and travel. Or to move on, or something. Last night I was entertaining the idea of moving out and living closer to uni, but after about two hours of searching for accommodation, I realised that I simply can't afford to leave home any time soon. My parents said that I can live at home for free as long as I'm studying, which is great. And once I get a full-time job and can support myself, I either have to pay board, or get a place of my own.

5th-Aug-2008 10:36 pm - Update
Lost Cedric...

Second week back at uni... I'm no longer as miserable and depressed as I was last semester, which is a plus. I still don't have any friends there, but it's more tolerable now, seeing as I only have one break in the whole week's timetable - two hours between classes on Wednesdays. Every other day is straight in and out - get to uni, attend lecture/s, go home. Which is good. I'm finished by 12pm every day apart from tomorrow, which drags on until 4pm.

I've got two tutorials tomorrow... oh man. I hope it won't be awkward. Farrrk. I'm not in the mood to be confident and happy-go-lucky on-top-of-the-world miss popular let's-be-friends. I really wish I could meet a 'perfect' friend, someone who I have instant rapport with. Oh well. Time will tell.

1st-Aug-2008 03:24 pm - Bands I've Seen Live
Just felt like making a list, out of curiousity, of all the live bands I've seen, in order.

1st-Aug-2008 01:15 pm - Muse Obsession Survey
Purple Space
Copy and pasted from when I recently saw this on ebonystar's journal, and obviously couldn't resist the urge to fill it out myself ;)

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